It’s February 15th, the day after the Big V, the 14th, the lust fest of pink champagne, chilly long-stemmed, fragrance free roses, sparkly helium balloons and ‘dine at home’ multibuy deals at the supermarket. Please don’t shoot me, but, um, I’m kind of glad it’s all over actually. Are romance authors allowed to say things like that, I wonder? Well I’ll give you a couple of reasons why I’m a bit of a humbug about the whole thing.
I have never in my entire life received an anonymous Valentine’s card or gift from a secret admirer. Never. Isn’t that supposed to happen at least once? Bah! The only things that have plopped through my letter box are bills, charity bags or a postcard from someone holidaying in a place much nicer than wherever I’ve been standing on February 14th. But I must admit to sending a few in my teens; tiny seeds of hope that always fell on barren land. Oh the humiliation! The angst and heartbreak of unrequited lurve! It was ghastly, I’m so glad I’m all grown up now.
Anyway, I did survive the annual disappointment through my twenties (and a good number of petrol station red carnations from rat bags) before finally meeting a man who cared enough to make an effort every day, not just the dreaded 14th of February. I adore him still, he was certainly worth the wait. And then our first child was born … in the early hours of February 14th 1999. Emergency surgery, gallons of morphine, unspeakably invasive, scalp flashing, sectioning horror and they wouldn’t even render me unconscious! So dawn on that particular Valentine’s Day was surreal: red roses, stork festooned new baby flower arrangements and cardboard sick bowls. And no clean NHS sheets, oh no, how impertinent of me to ask, didn’t I realise it was a Sunday? All very romantic …
Thus, February 14th, the day Cupid does a lot of overtime, changed for us lovebirds forever. It’s never going to be just about us, the office romance lovers anymore, because it’s our lovely daughter’s birthday too and she’s much more important. I do worry that she’ll suffer some of the heartache and disappointment of being ignored on Valentine’s Day, even though she insists she isn’t in the least bit bothered. I apologise annually for the fact that she’ll never have it easy booking a birthday meal at a fancy restaurant because it will be full of couples paying over the odds for strawberries and champagne. But each cloud does have a silver lining because the chances are high that she’ll always get something nice on the 14th of February …
What’s your take on the Big V? Love it? Loathe it? Or blissfully indifferent?
Happy Birthday…young Rachel…
I’m with you, Rach. Valentine’s Day is celebrated every day in our house and has been for 37 years….eek did I say that.. I was married as a child bride…really!
Lots of constant love and consideration and flowers on many days!
But for those of you who celebrate it…I hope you had a wonderful day.
I did… I wrote 6000 words today!
You wrote how much?! I need some of that Aussie sunshine and bubbly, Annie! xx
We had rather a lovely evening – at home – as a matter of fact. I do understand why many people hate Valentine’s Day and yes, you are absolutely right that looking after each other on every other day is more important than an annual gesture. However, it’s a myth to assume that those who celebrate The Day, ignore each other for the rest of the time. Happy birthday to your daughter, Rachel. Mine’s 25 now and dare I suggest that while it’s wonderful to have your children at home – and heartbreaking when they grow up and leave home – there is the compensation of discoverng your previous role of lover again. That’s as far as I dare hint!
Hi Phillipa! So pleased to hear you had a lovely Valentine’s Day, my lovely, and that true romance is alive and well. We’ve a few more years to go before there’s a bit more room in the nest but will enjoy the anticipation! And hope we still have the energy … ;0)
x
My nephew was born last year on Valentine’s day, so while I’ve never really been a big fan of the day before, now I have a reason to celebrate:) It is still kinda depressing when I go to work and see all the things people have gotten from their loved ones, but now when asked what I am doing I just tell them that I plan on spending it with the cutest guy around… they don’t have to know that he wears diapers:)
Your new nephew is the best reason ever to celebrate, Yadira! :0)
I have a friend with a birthday on Feb 14th – at least I never forget it!
I agree that it’s turned into a day for money-making and not much else. Set meals at ridiculous prices, with harried waiters too busy to give good service, flowers that triple in price for that one day, and heart-branded chocolates everywhere that are replaced on 15th Feb by Easter eggs.
Cynical, moi?
My biggest concern is that the schools are only encouraging the materialism. These days, it’s not a day of love, it’s a day of “I must have”. My kids’ school sells chocolates & flowers to raise funds but as a result every child has to get something or there are tears. So Moms and Dads are forced to shell out for their kids. Where’s the love in that?
And what about those kids whose parents choose not to, or don’t order in time or plain forget? The day has become about something negative rather than something positive.
Hi Romy! It can certainly get very stressful. In my shelf stacking days it was heartbreaking to see the sheer panic and terror on some men’s faces as they dithered over the bouquets and chocolates … :0) x